Hope

Forgive me for waxing philosophical/religical, but I'd like to share these thoughts. And it's my blog, so there.

In RS this month we had a lesson on hope. It was taught as being an attribute of Christ that we all need to attain. The lesson was very good, I'd like to impart some of it with my own thoughts. It was based off of the attributes of Christ section in Preach My Gospel-so go there if you want it better than I can say, and the pertaining scripture references.

First, what is hope?-Well there are a lot of ways to define it. A short way is to give synonyms: trust, desire, expectation, faith, assurance. I also liked these quotes-

"Hope is trust in God's promises, faith that if we act now, the desired blessings will be fulfilled in the future."-James E. Faust, "Hope, an Anchor of the Soul," Ensign, Nov. 1999, 59

"The word hope is sometimes misunderstood. In our everyday language, the word often has a hint of uncertainty...In the language of the gospel, however, the word hope is sure, unwavering, and active...When we have hope, we trust in God's promises. We have a quiet assurance that if we do the 'works of righteousness,' we shall receive [our] reward, even peace in this world, and eternal life in the world to come. (D&C 59:23). Mormon taught that such hope comes only through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. (Moroni 7:41)"-The First Presidency, True to the Faith, 85. Intellectual Reserve, Inc., SLC. 2004

I really liked the explanation of how usually when we use the word 'hope' there is some doubt or uncertainty implied. But in reality, in the gospel, there is no doubt when it comes to things we can have hope in. I also like how hope can be the expectation of something, not merely wishing, or being naieve, but that we can expect something and it will happen. This fulfillment of expectations doesn't happen too much in life. In another quote I didn't include, it talks about how hope is "realistic anticipation taking the form of determination-a determination not merely to survive but to 'endure well' to the end." This means that when we have hope, we trust/expect/are assured that we will endure well; not only survive, but flourish and prosper...and we can expect it.

Why and How can we hope?-Basically it is because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. This makes everything possible.

What can we hope for?-Eternal life, a place in heaven, resurrection, rest from afflictions, desire to be better, a better world.

How do we attain hope?-short answer: through revelations, reading words of the prophets (scriptures), prayer, repentance, through tribulation which brings patience, righteousness.

"There is only one true hope, 'that blessed hope,' and the saints are commanded to acquire it...Hope is born of righteousness...Hope is found through the gospel; the scriptures themselves have been recorded that men 'might have hope;' and angels minister unto man to confirm that hope. And those who gain the full hope of eternal life purify themselves even as Christ is pure."-Bruce R. McConkie, Mormon Doctrine, 335. Book Craft, Inc., SLC. 1958.

In my opinion hope is very similar to faith. We go about obtaining hope just like we do faith, or maybe it is through faith that we obtain hope. We have faith that if we read our scriptures or follow the prophets that we will get hope. Or maybe through those things we get both faith and hope. It's all interconnected. The quote above says men are commanded to acquire hope. Which implies action. So it's up to us to work to gain that hope, to find it, acquire it, and let it into our hearts. Faith is also an action. I think my favorite thing about all of this is that it is a definite thing that is going to happen. We can expect blessings. We can trust that they will happen. We can have the assurance that what we do is in accordance with what we should be doing.

(Sorry if this is scattered, I forgot a lot of my thoughts).

So this is where my brain went after thinking about these things and life and such happenings....
I (and I assume a lot of people) want to have a plan in life. I want to progress and be able to be successful and learn things and be the person I need to be. I've been taught to serve others, use my talents to bless lives, to work, and to live righteously. The rest is pretty much up to me. I choose where to live, what to do each day, what job to take, who to associate with, who to marry, and how to spend my time and money. The problem comes when life happens and things are thrown in the path that I've sort of imagined for myself. Obstacles are part of life, but they are so frustrating when you see where you want to go, but can't get there.

For example, I have not had huge success in my life post college graduation. I haven't found a really great job. I went through periods of unemployment, part-time jobs, and even moved home. Let me tell you-I did not imagine myself moving home after college. I found a full time job, it wasn't what I expected, but I rolled with it, thinking I was at least getting somewhere. Then I got laid off. It was a huge blow, because I thought I was finally settled. I thought I was putting in my time, gaining that experience, getting a paycheck, and hopefully getting somwhere. I was frustrated. I figured I had gotten to a point where I could just do that routine for awhile, be settled. I told this to my friend, Andy, and he pretty much told me that I will never be settled in life. He said he didn't think he'd be settled until he was a grandpa. Ha ha!

I also used to (wrongly) think that at certain times/stages in life or after certain events, that I would be settled or finally ready to go ahead with the rest of my life. At one point I used to envy married people a little bit because they had that part of their life figured out, and that everything else would be easier to figure out from there. Oh, how I was wrong. Or that once I was graduated, that I would suddenly gain all this knowledge and know how to govern my life and where to take myself. I would know what I was doing. More and more I come to the realization that no one really knows what they are doing. Even adults, or people who have kids. They are pretending just as much as the rest of us, trying to do the best they can and hoping they don't screw their kids up too much. We all are faced with choices every day. We make those decisions to the best of our ability and knowledge, but we don't know everything, so sometimes we chose wrongly, or just have to make a stab in the dark. Sometimes it's not even a decision we have to make. Sometimes it's just something that happens like a car accident or a disease. Some old people though, they have things figured out. They are wise because they've lived their lives and have a ton of knowledge and experience.

Life isn't about being comfortable or settled, that's not the point. It made me think and I came to the realization that I really will never be settled. If that were the case, how would I learn/grow/progress/become the person I need to be, especially if there were no obstacles or trials in life? And, crazily, that made me happy. I felt better knowing that I never will be all settled/good in all aspects of my life. That is a crazy unrealistic expectation. There will always be something going on. I guess it made me happy because I know I don't have to worry about not getting to that point I thought I could reach. I can try, but I'll always get thrown some type of curve ball to deal with. And it also made me less scared for the things that are going to come. I know things are going to happen and there is nothing I can do to stop them. But I have hope. I have trust that I will be able to get through the rough times and I have the expectation that things will get better and that it is ok for me to expect it. Job or no job, I have hope that I will be blessed to be where I need to be and to be able to do what I need to do.

Back to having a plan, I think we all need to have plans/goals, otherwise we wouldn't do anything in life. But we have to realize that nothing goes according to our plan. One of my friends quoted me somoneone else, so this is really like 6th hand, "Heavenly Father's plan for you is so much better than anything you could create for yourself." I really like that. He is in charge. The only thing we can do is make our plans, move forward with them and know that things will most likely not turn out how we imagine for ourselves. But if we have hope in Jesus Christ, they will turn out better than we could ever dream of. And that is awesome.

So this is me, the unsettled hopeful Meagan, doing my best to figure things out in life, and trying to enjoy it the best I can. And like my stake Patriarch Bro. Volmer says, "Everything works out ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end."

i believe in lookin' like my time on earth is cookin'

Just listening to the Aida soundtrack and belting out along with Heather Headley. She's just great. Although I do a good Adam Pascal too. Listening to Aida reminds me of Jenn Jenn, she introduced me to the musical, and we've seen it twice together. It has great musica, Tim Rice and Elton John, of course. One of my favorites is I Know the Truth, it didn't use to be, but one time a girl sang it and had so much hurt and sorrow in her voice, really portrayed it, that I really felt for her. Another time a girl botched it and the best she could do was sob through the song. Really annoying.

Speaking of music, I'm kind of glad Justin Bieber didn't win best artist of the year, I mean, I know he's the newest Justin Timberlake/Jonas Brother but I really don't get into him. Arcade Fire did win best album of the year, and I know who they are and have some of their songs, so I felt cool because not everyone does.

I did get tix to the Adele concert in Portland, OR, on June 3rd, going with my friend Marlena. I'm super excited, but that's a long way away. Marlena likes to call me "crackhead" because I'm so all over the place sometimes, but I know she means it in a loving way.

I had a pretty good birthday. What I love the best about birthday's is getting messages, cards, fb greetings etc from all my friends. It's nice to be remembered. Also, we got Dave to do the splits for the night's entertainment and it was magical. He is a dream maker. For my birthday I went shopping and got this saucy new swimsuit, which is kind of a downer since it's only February, but my friend Nichole has a hot tub, so I might get to use it before summer. My friend Erica's birthday is two days after mine, so we kind of made it birthday week. Monday we went with like 20 of us to Red Robin, Tuesday was cake and games at my house, Wednesday was Waffle Wednesday, Thursday was movie night, and Friday we played games again. It was almost tiring. I didn't get to go ice skating, but I did get plenty of partying in. No dance party though, which I was kind of sad about.

I heard this joke on SNL and thought it was hilarious. They were talking about the protesting in Egypt and CNN's Anderson Cooper was covering the event. He was in the crowd and got pushed around/beat up a bit. They showed a picture of him and the guy said how good he looked for getting beat up, which proves, "You can't beat the handsome off Anderson Cooper." Ha ha! So true

I love sweatpants, I probably wear them too much. Also, I need a good book to read. How was your Valentine's Day? I got 20 bucks from my parentals and then made myself a romantic meal of mac n cheese while they went to a fancy dinner.

Happy Valentines Day!

rambling

somethings gotta change. what? I don't know. I hate my inability to take action. my birthday is soon. I don't know what I want. I also don't know how I want to celebrate. If I were born in July I would totally have a pool party or something. I've always wanted a summer birthday. I'll be 24. that's getting up there. why haven't I done anything cool with my life. oh yeah, because I don't do anything about it. how is everybody? what are they up to? they are busy with their lives and I have too much time on my hands. yes, too much time. went through my withdrawal phase, now I'm in my mourning phase. do I want to keep trying? what happens when my expectations are not met? do I stay to the old standby of just being there? he's probably just extremely busy. and things are going to be different, there's no way it can be what it was before. all the same, I want it too. do I try and take what I can get? or do I drop it and keep myself from being disappointed? girl music. Sara Bareilles-"I'm not the girl that I intend to be." ok, so go do something with all your time. food baby.

WIN or FAIL

When good things happen in life I call it a WIN. When things don't work out it's not quite appropriate to call it a LOSE so I call it a FAIL. Sometimes things are an EPIC FAIL. Get the game? Well here are a few recent WINs and FAILs (I like this idea so it may continue in further posts).

Got my job back, sort of. I'm doing part time for right now. Some work is better than no work. So kind of a WIN.

The World is out of control. Take your pick of Blizzard in the US, Cyclone in Australia, or Political Uprising in Egypt and other Arab countries. Please calm down soon. EPIC FAIL.

My Russian music web site came through for me again. Adele released a new cd called "21", came out on Jan.19th in the UK, doesn't come out until February 22nd in the US. But because the website is not iTunes I can get European music usually a month earlier. I feel like I am cheating the system which always gives me a feeling of pride and accomplishment. Also, just give Adele a Grammy already because it is that good. It is going to win some serious awards. I love her voice soooo much and now I have a whole new cd to listen to. My favorite song so far is the last track, "Someone Like You." WIN.

I tried to watch the second Anne of Green Gables today rented from the library. In the middle you have to flip sides of the dvd. The first side worked, the second side didn't. FAIL.

Waffle Wednesday's entered its fourth week and is doing well. Basically my peeps just get together to eat waffles. And watch Modern Family if it's on. Today we watched "Groundhog's Day" in honor of the holiday. Also, the Chinese New Year begins on the 3rd. It is the Year of the Rabbit which is my sign. Rabbits are supposed to be financially lucky. Hopefully it will bring me luck. WIN.

It is super cold here, but not as cold as many other places. And we have sunshine instead of 60 mph gusting wind blowing snow. But the blizzard is keeping my sister's roommate from reporting to the MTC. So I guess that's a draw.

It's my birthday next week and I don't know how I want to party or what I want for my birthday. FAIL.