i got to get this off my chest

Last weekend the General Authorities announced there would be a change in the age requirement for Young Women to serve a mission for the LDS church. It used to be 21. Now they lowered the age to 19. The men can now go at age 18 if they have a high school diploma or equivalent. I've heard a few reactions and now this is my reaction to those reactions. First off, I think it's great. I think a lot more girls will serve missions that may not have. Partly because if they were to mature to the ripe old age of 21 some would be married and thus ineligible to serve a mission. It may make life planning easier-I don't know, like going on a mission after a year of college instead of after three. It's great, it really is. Personally, I am having a hard time with some people's reactions. From Facebook, friends, blogs, feedback from my sister who is currently at BYU, I've heard several things. How the marriage age at BYU is going to increase because all the girls will be on missions, how Liberty Square (a place known for marriages and housing straight out of the dorm girls {I know, I lived there}) is going to be vacant next year, how there will be less dating in the dorms at BYU, whether there will be any boys at all in the dorms, how they can't make that joke about ugly girls going on missions because they couldn't get married because all the girls will be going on missions, yadda yadda yadda. I think this will be a very interesting cultural change for things down there. I'm not sure if the marriage age will increase, maybe the number of marriages will decline because girls aren't getting married as young because they will be out on missions during an age when many girls become married. It will be quite interesting. There are many blessings that come from serving a mission and it's great that all these people are excited about these changes.

However, I am having a bad reaction to some of the things I am hearing. Women who are upset because they would have served a mission had the age been lower at the time they were contemplating service but by the time they were 21 they were married or on the way to marriage. They feel cheated somehow. This really hurts me. A lot. I am a 25 year old single female. A BYU graduate who did not earn her "MRS" degree. I have been in the "singles" system for 7 years now and have endured a lot. It just gets harder as you get older. But to hear these women complaining that something is "unfair" or "too late" is unfeeling. How can they say that? Especially to their husbands? But think about all the single women in the church who have longed and ached for the blessings of a temple marriage-and these women are complaining they didn't get to serve a mission. Well, me not being married, I don't know how it would feel to have to make that choice. But obviously all these women had a choice at one point in their life. And they made it. Missions are wonderful. Marriage is too. I'm sure it was gut wrenching for those who had to decide. But to say you feel cheated? You made a decision base on your options and knowledge available to you at the time. How do you know that if you had gone on a mission that you'd still have the same marriage opportunities? You cannot go back so please, please do not regret your decision to get married.  This change has come, now, in the year 2012. It cannot retroactively change the past, but it will have a huge impact on the future. 

I read some comments on a blog that were sad. How one girl was sad she didn't go on a mission because she always felt she was not on the same level spiritually as her husband, and how she always deferred to him because he had served a mission and knew so much more than she did. I just felt sad for her. Going on a mission is not a prerequisite to gospel knowledge. Women and men who do not serve missions have just as much room to grow as people who do. Just because someone has served a mission does not guarantee a lifetime of righteousness or imply any kind of superiority. From a young age my mother taught me something that was very important to her that she learned from President Kimball-that women could be just as scholarly in the gospel as men. And she has striven to make this a part of her life. Yes, it is weird to be in Sunday School and hear all the "On my mission" comments. Especially when you are in a ward as a 19 year old girl with a bunch of 21 year old return missionaries. But then you get over it. 

I guess in the end I have to say a few concluding points. Missions are a priesthood calling for men. They are a wonderful option for women who want to serve. There will still be women who choose not to serve for their own personal reasons. I think what everyone (including me) needs to remember and have faith in is that Heavenly Father is mindful of us. He knows our righteous desires. He has a plan for us. That may be to serve a mission, it may be marriage and a family, it may be something else. But we need to recognize and have faith that what we do and have done is part of our Heavenly Father's plan for us. 

Sorry for the rant. But I needed to vent. I would like to read your comments if you'd like to make them.

*This is based off of my life and my experiences. I have never felt pressure from "The Church" or my parents to become married just to be married and be righteous. It is a goal and desire of mine. But whether the reason it hasn't happened yet for me was because of my options, choices, independence, focus on other goals, naivete, lack of skill, or whatever, I never have felt like I was only worth something if I were married. I have a strong sense of self worth, thanks to my parents and have tried to live up to my own capabilities.*