rambling

somethings gotta change. what? I don't know. I hate my inability to take action. my birthday is soon. I don't know what I want. I also don't know how I want to celebrate. If I were born in July I would totally have a pool party or something. I've always wanted a summer birthday. I'll be 24. that's getting up there. why haven't I done anything cool with my life. oh yeah, because I don't do anything about it. how is everybody? what are they up to? they are busy with their lives and I have too much time on my hands. yes, too much time. went through my withdrawal phase, now I'm in my mourning phase. do I want to keep trying? what happens when my expectations are not met? do I stay to the old standby of just being there? he's probably just extremely busy. and things are going to be different, there's no way it can be what it was before. all the same, I want it too. do I try and take what I can get? or do I drop it and keep myself from being disappointed? girl music. Sara Bareilles-"I'm not the girl that I intend to be." ok, so go do something with all your time. food baby.